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So you and your boo have decided you want to elope, just the two of you, but your family isn’t feeling it huh?

First… take a deep breath!

While it may sting that they are not buzzing with excitement about your decision, I have several ideas to help them still feel included in your day. (Quick little aside… elopements can absolutely include your family if that’s what you want! )

First and foremost, explain why you want to elope and what that means to you. Older generations tend to equate elopements with shameful/tacky/cheap, so helping them reframe it is a good start. Next, ask them what they think they will miss from a traditional wedding and see if you can make some of those things happen. Maybe they want to have traditional dances, give a toast, or share a family blessing. Just sitting down with them and asking them how you can make them feel a part will go a long way!

And remember that no one “deserves” to be at your wedding day besides you and your partner. So don’t let anyone try to guilt you, no matter if they raised you, paid for your college, or whatever! This day is about the two of you, and it should look exactly like you want it to. Now, let’s get to the list!

  • Let them take part in wedding attire shopping. Asking for company when picking out your elopement attire can help them feel like they are still a part of the day.
  • Have loved ones write letters of love, encouragement, advice, etc. You can read them during the ceremony or settle down with Champagne and read them afterward.
  • Facetime/Skype them the day of. You could do this while getting ready after you say your vows, or when you are popping the champagne.
  • Ask loved ones to send a video toast! Similar to the last tip, you can watch them whenever but it’s a lovely thing to include in your day to feel celebrated. You can also flip it and send a toast to your loved ones!
  • Ask family to help you make the day special with special family items or heirlooms. You can include these special items on your wedding day or as part of the ceremony. Whether it’s a watch that’s been handed down, a book of poems, or a special shawl, adding these items to your day can make it feel even more meaningful.
  • Throw a reception when you get home. Many couples like to hold a reception when they get back, similar to a wedding reception. Plan a big party and let everyone celebrate you, or throw an intimate dinner, whatever is more your style.
  • Relive your best day with loved ones. Pop a bottle of bubbly and go through your elopement photos once you get them back! You can go through them and tell them all about the day, what you were thinking and feeling etc… and it will feel like they were there.
  • Bonus! Bring them a little something special back from your amazing trip to let them know you were thinking of them!

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If this is hitting you in your feels and you’ve been nodding your head as you read, head to my contact page and say hello.